Learning to Rest in God’s View of You

Disclaimer:Nothing in this blog post is intended to be considered medical or mental health advice or treatment. It’s written from the perspective of the author’s lived experience and reflects personal views expressed with the intent to encourage and share hope.

Have you ever entered a season where it seemed that you consulted the opinion of others more than you consult your own thoughts or the wisdom of God?

We have probably all done this at some point in our lives. The main thing is to recognize when we have become so hungry for the approval, agreement, or direction of others that we allow what is on our own plates to grow cold.

There is nothing wrong with receiving wise counsel, learning from people who know more than we do, or caring about how we come across to others.

But there is a problem when other people’s opinions become the main authority in our lives.

When feedback is helpful

In certain types of work, ministry, hobbies, or creative projects, it can be important to understand demographics, metrics, patterns, or feedback that may impact our decisions.

It is also natural to wonder how we are being perceived.

Sometimes feedback helps us improve our relationships. It helps us grow as people. Others may see a blind spot we would not have noticed on our own.

Wise feedback can be a blessing.

The problem comes when we consult with other people and accept their word as the only authoritative opinion on a matter. We cannot let someone else’s opinion stop us from living our own lives, using our gifts, making progress, or following what we believe God has placed in front of us.

A question worth asking

One way to check this in our lives is to ask ourselves:

“Would I quit learning about this or doing this thing if a specific person told me to stop?”

Answering yes is not automatically a red flag. Sometimes we do need to listen. If what we are doing is unwise, harmful, dishonest, prideful, or something we already know is not good for us, then correction may be a gift.

But a yes to that question is still a signal to dig deeper.

Why would this person’s opinion carry that much weight?

Why do I value this person’s opinion over my own discernment?

Is there a certain skill level, wisdom, understanding, experience, or spiritual maturity that makes this person’s input especially valuable?

If so, it may be worth considering with humility.

But if not, why are we taking in their opinion to the point that we stop thinking for ourselves? Why would we discount our own perspective, ability, or understanding if we know who we are, what we are doing, and why we are doing it?

Considering the source

Not every opinion carries the same weight.

For example, my daughter is an amazing digital illustrator. If I wanted to learn more about some of the tools she uses, I would absolutely consult with her. Her father and I taught her the foundations of illustration when she was a child, and she grabbed the torch and ran far ahead with it. Her natural talent and skill are amazing.

But if she were to critique my general use of certain graphic design tools she has never used, I would not need to take all of that under the same level of consideration as I would if someone more experienced than me in that specific area offered a critique.

She knows what she knows.

I know what I know.

We are doing two different things. That does not mean neither of us have valuable input to offer on the respective subjects. It simply means we have different strengths, tools, experiences, and areas of understanding.

In the same way, we do not have to receive every opinion as expert-level wisdom just because it comes from someone we love, respect, or know personally.

Boundaries help us stay balanced

Understanding our own strengths, as well as the strengths of others, helps us appreciate constructive criticism when we receive it. Good boundaries help us keep a balanced perspective when we hear feedback from a family member, friend, coworker, leader, or online audience.

We can care about people without treating every opinion they share as final, and respect people without assuming they know everything about everything. We can remain teachable without becoming dependent, and listen with humility without surrendering our discernment.

That balance matters.

The people around us may love us deeply, but they do not know everything. We do not know everything either. That is why every opinion, including our own, needs to be brought before God.

When we rely too much on others

What can we do if we discover we might be more reliant on the opinions of other people than we need to be?

Repentance may be appropriate, depending on what is involved.

Are we

• repeatedly seeking advice like it is a fortune cookie we must consume before we can move forward?

• asking people what to do while ignoring what God has already been showing us?

• putting other people on a pedestal and then asking God to bless a decision we made because we hoped they were right?

• using other people’s opinions to avoid responsibility, prayer, courage, or trusting what God has already placed in our hands?

Those are honest questions worth asking.

Sometimes the issue is not that we asked for help. The issue is that we have allowed someone else’s opinion to become louder than God’s wisdom, our own discernment, and the peace He may be trying to give us.

Asking honest questions

Oddly enough, one way to check whether we are relying on others too much is to ask safe, honest people if they have noticed it.

That could sound like:

“I’m working on trusting myself more, and I wonder if you have noticed anything about how I’m doing with that. Do you feel like I often ask you to tell me what to do or how to do it?”

Or:

“How is it to work with me? Am I doing a good job of being resourceful and proactive?”

Of course, if we ask people for their opinions, they may actually give them.

That does not mean we need to become cold, hard, or unreachable if we do not completely agree with their assessments. It does mean we need enough humility to hear feedback without falling apart, and enough discernment to know that not every comment needs to become a command.

Someone may say something we do not completely agree with, misunderstand what we meant, point out something that stings because there is a little truth in it.

Someone may also be wrong, though.

That is why we need God’s help.

Bringing it all before God

Everything in life can be set before God.

He already sees right through it. He sees our motives, our fears, our gifts, our blind spots, our obedience, our hesitation, and our desire to do well. He can bless what He sees fit to bless in ways we could never manufacture on our own.

God gives us opportunities to bless others by doing what we are good at. He gives us room to grow, learn, practice, create, serve, and operate in our gifts.

He also places people around us who can teach us, sharpen us, encourage us, and impart wisdom to us. But people are not a substitute for God. Becoming skilled is not a substitute for God, and neither is confidence or becoming an expert.

By bringing all our thoughts (and feedback) to God, we can trust God even more than we trust ourselves, and still honor the freedom He gives us to think, create, choose, practice, and grow.

The Lord maintains my lot

There is a verse I like to remember when I am struggling with wanting to know what specific people think about something I am doing.

Psalm 16:5 (NKJV) says:

“O Lord, You are the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You maintain my lot.”

This verse reminds me of God’s constancy and goodness. He is everything we need. He keeps what concerns us, maintains what belongs to us, and sees the full picture when we only see part of it. He knows what needs to be corrected, strengthened, released, and what needs to continue.

We do not have to chase every opinion or try to make every person understand. We don’t have to let the approval of others become the cup we drink from.

The Lord is our portion.

He is our cup.

He maintains our lot.

Reflection

Take a moment to consider:

Whose opinion have you been treating as more authoritative than it needs to be?

Is there a person whose approval you are tempted to seek before you feel free to move forward?

Are you asking for wise counsel, or are you asking for permission to trust what God has already been showing you?

Where might God be inviting you to listen, learn, and receive correction with humility?

Where might He be inviting you to stop outsourcing your discernment?

Prayer

Lord, thank You for being my portion, my cup, and the One who maintains my lot. Thank You for caring about every part of my life, including my decisions, my work, my relationships, my creativity, my growth, and my motives.

Please forgive me for the times I have valued the approval of others more than Your wisdom. Forgive me for the times I have put people on pedestals, ignored what You were showing me, or allowed fear of criticism to hold me back.

Help me receive wise counsel with humility, but also help me recognize when an opinion is not mine to carry. Teach me to listen without becoming dependent. Teach me to be teachable without being tossed around by every comment, critique, or concern.

Give me discernment to know when to pause, when to receive correction, when to keep going, and when to bring a matter quietly back to You. Help me trust that You see what I cannot see. Help me remember that people may offer insight, but You are the One who leads my life.

Let my confidence be rooted in You, not in approval. Let my choices be guided by wisdom, not fear. Let my heart stay humble, steady, and surrendered before You.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

Closing Thoughts

Other people’s opinions can be helpful, but they are not meant to become the foundation of our lives. Feedback can sharpen us, but it should not own us. Wise counsel can guide us, but it should not replace God.

There is peace in remembering that we do not have to chase every voice, please every person, or pause our lives until everyone agrees.

We can listen, learn, grow, and bring everything before God. With humility and courage, we can keep walking with Him and putting His word first. The Lord is our portion and our cup. He maintains our lot.

We can rest in His view of us.