Just…Be

Disclaimer: Nothing in this blog post is intended to be considered medical or mental health advice or treatment. It’s written from the perspective of the author’s lived experience and reflects personal views expressed with the intent to encourage and share hope.

It is a good thing to be focused.

Focus can help us finish what we start, steward our gifts, solve problems, build things, create beauty, and serve others well. But have you ever noticed the different ways life lets us know when we have become too focused?

Too focused on goals or hobbies, solution-finding, invention, work, or productivity.

At times, life gently reminds us that we also need to enjoy what God has given us, pay attention to the moment we are in, and take good care of ourselves.

Let me tell you a short story about a small way life reminded me that I was becoming too laser-focused in one area and needed to attend to myself better again.

I may or may not have a healthy fear of carpenter bees

There is one thing you should know in advance: I love the outdoors.

Something else to know about me: There is one creature that used to send me running. Now I have a different response. I was terrified of this brilliantly created marvel of nature.

Here’s the long story short of why, before we get to the main story I want to share with you:

I lived on a farm as a kid. A small section under the barn was inhabited by carpenter bees for a while, but we did not know it yet. One evening, we were near the barn when several bees suddenly flew out and began chasing me and my relatives.

I ran to the front steps and into our home, slamming the door shut behind me. By that point in life, I had already been stung on the back by wasps and stung on the foot by a honeybee I accidentally stepped on. I was 0% interested in finding out how badly those larger stinging creatures might hurt.

When I looked back through the glass pane in the door, I saw a carpenter bee that had followed me, and two relatives who were halfway between the barn and house. One was yelling for ice, so I rushed to take it to them. My sibling’s hand and arm swelled up terribly. It looked even worse than my foot had looked when I stepped on a honeybee.

It was scary to see, and I know it was far more frightening for them to experience. Now, as someone who later developed severe anaphylactic allergies that caused whole-body swelling, stopped my heart, and nearly ended my life, I understand even more how serious the situation was and how much worse it could have been.

So yes, I do not like carpenter bees. No, I don’t think I can outrun one anymore, but let’s not test the theory.

I understand that some people may take exception to my feelings about one of nature’s necessary creatures. God understands all of this though, and I am willing to concede that other people are way cooler about bees. To be fair, I have a healthy respect for them, and will prefer to steer clear of them and hope they steer clear of me.

The walk, the work, and the thing I did not notice

There are no carpenter bees in my house, but plenty were buzzing through the great big field where I walked in a place I used to live. The meadow there is filled with many pretty flowers, so when I went on an everyday walk out there, I was walking near thousands of bees.

One evening, I came in from a walk and sat down at my computer to work on a social media graphics project for a client. When I finished, instead of taking a shower and relaxing for the evening, I continued with other tasks that could have been saved for another day.

Working ahead is not always a bad thing, but it can become a problem when we do it to our own detriment.

Sometime after midnight, I started to remove my cardigan. That is when I saw it.

A huge carpenter bee was resting on the side of my shirt.

Now that I was no longer zoned out on work, and I had moved a little in my chair, I could feel the bee’s light buzzing vibration through the fabric. Soon enough, I could feel a hot pain beneath it too. At that point, I felt I needed help removing the bee from me without receiving more stings. The bee did not move off of me at all, but chose to stay on my shirt. I gently lowered myself to the bed and called out for help.

My husband helped me by catching the bee in a cup and placing a lid over it so it would not fly around until it could be freed outside. Meanwhile, I looked up a couple of things on the phone that was still in my hand.

It turns out that female carpenter bees are the ones that sting, and they usually do so only when they feel threatened.

Which means it is entirely possible that one of the things I dread most in life—getting stung by a carpenter bee—had happened while I was outside earlier that day.

I may have been so focused on creating a video, going inside, and moving on to more work that I did not even notice when the bee clung to my cardigan and chose to rest. It still amazes me that it stayed in one spot for hours…just like I had.

The bee needed to just…be?

Another thing I found out online is that carpenter bees sometimes like to find a flower to fall asleep in when it is time for bed.

So then I had questions.

Had the bee been flying through the flowers, looking for a sweet place to rest, and then found…me?

Did the sting only happen when I got up from my chair after midnight because I startled the bee while she was sleeping?

Or was it a planned attack by a queen bee who was tired of me walking through her part of the field? That made no sense, though. She would have stung me much earlier and chased me around, wouldn’t she?

However it happened, the point is this: I was outside in the bee’s habitat, it attached itself to me, and I did not notice because I was too engrossed in my own things.

If I had been more aware of my surroundings, or if I had treated my self-care routine as non-negotiable, I would not have become the temporary resting place for a ginormous queen carpenter bee.

I would not have gotten hurt…and the bee would…just be.

When life gets our attention

I take an antihistamine and several other asthma and allergy medications at the start and end of each day, so that may have helped the sting not affect me as badly as it could have. The moderate swelling finally went down after about a week.

But the lesson stayed with me.

Sometimes life gets our attention in unexpected ways. We can end up wondering how we failed to notice what was happening right in front of us—or, in this case, right on us.

It can also be human nature to become blameful, defensive, fearful, or stuck dwelling on what happened for too long.

I would like to invite you to take away three different things from this story.

First, not everything that comes against us is doing so maliciously. Sometimes what hurts us is not trying to harm us on purpose. So let’s be people of understanding and compassion, not people who are quick to be offended.

Second, never become so focused on what you are doing “for God” or for your people that you forget to actually live with God and your people. The work may matter, but so do rest, awareness, joy, connection, and caring for the body God gave you.

Third, God is always with us, so we do not have to live afraid. One of my worst fears literally happened, and I still turned out okay.

So did the bee.

Reflection

Take a moment to consider:

Where have you been so focused that you may be forgetting to notice your life?

Is there an area where productivity, problem-solving, service, or creativity has started crowding out rest, joy, or connection?

What is one small way you can care for yourself today without feeling guilty for needing care?

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the life You have given me. Help me to steward my work, goals, gifts, and my responsibilities with wisdom. Please also help me remember that I am not called to live like a machine. Teach me to notice the beauty around me, care for the body You gave me, enjoy the people You have placed in my life, and walk with You in the middle of ordinary moments. Help me recognize when I am becoming too focused, too hurried, or too consumed. Lead me back into peace, balance, and trust. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Closing Thoughts

Focus is valuable, but it is not meant to cost us our awareness, our health, our peace, or our ability to enjoy life with God.

Sometimes the reminder to slow down is gentle.

Sometimes it is inconvenient.

And…sometimes it’s one of your top fears…right there with you…but doing no real harm after all.

Do you have a similar story of a time life reminded you to live? I hope you will share it. Your story may encourage someone else who is reading.